- The Cutting Edge.
i don’t care. I DON’T CARE. also, I DON’T EVEN WANT TO HEAR IT, MISTER MOCK MY INNER TWELVE YEAR OLD WHO LOVES ICE SKATING (and who thinks d.b. sweeney is cute). so there. TOE PICK!
- Maximum Overdrive.
look, sometimes you want to see an alien comet take over a bunch of semi-tractor trailers and cause electronics to become homicidal to an all-AC/DC all the time soundtrack, that’s all i’m sayin’.
- Speed.
improbable action sequence-palooza; never not awesome!
- From Dusk Till Dawn.
also known as “Robert Rodriguez’ Vampire Boom!” you can’t go wrong with Robert Rodriguez’ Vampire Boom!
- Willard.
i love crispin glover. i apologize for nothing.
Browsing Posts published by sabrina
so, uh. there may be some site unavailability in the future. looks like i’m getting up off my ass and moving the site from ${CRAPPY_LOCAL_ISP_WHO_NEVER_ANSWERS_NIQUI’S_EMAILS} to the JohnCompanies colo sooner rather than later. apparently i’m doing it this weekend!
FROM: [Fred the Support Guy]. From CHIhost.com
TO: meHi,
You have WAY too much perl usage, the cpu and ram this site uses is not appropriate for the plan you are on.
root@server132 [~]# cat file| grep zig
32572 zig 18 0 7940 5928 1444 D 6 0.3 0:01.22 /usr/local/bin/perl
32303 zig 18 0 7956 5580 1444 D 4 0.3 0:01.56 /usr/local/bin/perl
32376 zig 18 0 8188 5756 1588 D 3 0.3 0:01.57 /usr/local/bin/perl
31195 zig 18 0 8276 5580 1448 D 1 0.3 0:01.29 /usr/local/bin/perl
392 zig 18 0 7356 5544 1444 D 1 0.3 0:01.18 /usr/local/bin/perl
31012 zig 18 0 7052 5576 1444 R 1 0.3 0:01.46 /usr/local/bin/perl
32585 zig 18 0 8252 5576 1444 D 1 0.3 0:01.33 /usr/local/bin/perl
32174 zig 18 0 8564 5748 1588 R 1 0.3 0:01.37 /usr/local/bin/perl
1038 root 15 0 8560 2256 1804 S 0 0.1 0:00.02 sshd: zig [priv]
1061 zig 16 0 8560 1700 1252 S 0 0.1 0:04.70 sshd: zig@pts/1
1090 zig 16 0 3080 1376 1088 S 0 0.1 0:00.09 -jailshell
11552 root 17 0 8736 2216 1776 S 0 0.1 0:00.03 sshd: zig [priv]
13375 zig 15 0 8736 1664 1212 S 0 0.1 0:00.00 sshd: zig@notty
13483 zig 16 0 5024 952 716 S 0 0.0 0:00.01 /usr/libexec/openss
Please switch to a plan appropriate for that usage such as our
dedicated server $179.95/mo + $99 Setup
or
Semi-dedicated server $39.95/mo + Free SetupFailure to switch to plan appropriate for your usage may result in your site being shut off without further notice. Which plan did you want to go with?
Thanks,
[Fred]
some days i am better at hiding my contempt than others.
FROM: sabrina downard
TO: [Fred the Support Guy]> Failure to switch to plan appropriate for your usage may result in your site
> being shut off without further notice.
>
>Â Which plan did you want to go with?Hah! That’s fantastic. Every time I have tried to email chihost support I get utterly blown off and never hear back at all — such as my most recent email after someone messed up my chroot jail, wherein I actually pleaded for just an acknowledgement of the email — but you find a problem and suddenly you guys remember I’m here.
Also, I really like the emailing threatening cutoff on the day before Thanksgiving. That’s awesome.
Tell you what, I’ll do us both a favor. Let me know what the date through which I’m currently paid up through is, and we can shake hands and go our separate ways at that time.
—
sabrina downard
i really, really, *really* wanted to ask for exactly how much “perl” i am allowed to use, or remark on his super-scary “cat file| grep zig” “of course the puny user will be frightened by my PS OUTPUT” attempt to techno-frighten me into submission, or hell, even just say “boy, are you guys dumb,” but i couldn’t bring myself to be mean. well. meaner than i was.
i do really like the threatened cutoff on thanksgiving eve. ‘cos that shit is TOTALLY what i was going to be doing tomorrow, baby!
Day 0: smoke the last cigarette in your pack. decide more or less spontaneously just not to buy any more. go about your life more or less normally.
Day 1: become mildly twitchy, but mostly okay. congratulate yourself on how well you are doing.
Day 2: snarl at anyone who breathes on you. attempt to choke anyone who actually speaks.
Day 3: neurotically chew nicotine gum, which for the record tastes like minty shoe rubber. call friend for moral support. run through all your cash taking cabs around the city in order to avoid walking past stores that will sell you cigarettes.
Day 4: go out for drinks after dinner to celebrate the new democratic house and senate majorities. fail to resist the lure of cigarettes; chain smoke 3/4 pack in a hipster karaoke bar.
Day 5: finish the pack.
Day 6: feel guilty, but now unsure why you should quit smoking because, after all, you are a grown-up, you know the consequences, and you can smoke if you want to. defiantly buy another pack; smoke three.
Day 7: feel guiltier, but don’t let it stop you from smoking half a pack.
Day 8: finish the pack. resolve again to not buy any more.
Day 9: sulk.
Day 10: continue sulking, at least until you go home from work and buy another pack. smoke four.
Day 11: go out drinking after work again. fail again to not chain-smoke in the bar. kill most of the rest of the pack.
Day 12: finish pack in the morning. resolve not to buy any more. mope the rest of the day.
Day 13: do a bunch of housecleaning to distract self from smoking. sequester all cigarette lighters into a tin. drink a bottle of wine and mourn its lack of firey accompaniment.
Day 14: do even more housecleaning. find some more nicotine gum; promptly misplace it. discover that another friend is attempting to quit. compare phraseology of respective “choke the living shit of everyone who gets within ten feet of me” sentiments. award points for creativity!
Day 15: sulk.
i was idly reading the amazon reviews for the new scissor sisters album ta dah! earlier today, while fetching the link to put them in my little featured fangirling sidebar thingy, and one of them noted something along the lines of: “saying that you don’t like scissor sisters is like saying you don’t like fun.”
(which is, y’know, pretty much true. i’m not asking anyone to go all crazy, here, or anything, but if you don’t at least reflexively tap a toe to something as easily accessible as “take your mama out,” you’re at least (a) stodgy or, more likely, (b) undead.) this goes a long way towards explaining a wacky interpersonal issue that’s been bothering me for about six months. clearly X. does not like fun! this explains everything! i feel so much better (and no small amount oblique) now!
