dear space aliens,
look, just because you took back Space Alien Buehrle is no reason to give us Space Alien Jose Contreras.
i’m just sayin’.
*facepalm*,
–sabrina
Baby banana!
Originally uploaded by sldownard.
Cutest fruit evah
i was on a roll. i was getting things done. i was taking care of business, baby.
i was cleaning my house.
and lo! came that fateful moment. that one in a million chance. that instant where i reached out with my gloved hand, bearing a damp sponge, and wiped away the dust on the flexible hose that connects the water supply with the toilet tank.
the flexible hose which promptly slipped partly out of its bracket and began a slow, dripping leak onto the linoleum.
but i am a capable woman. i can change a flat, i can apply a tourniquet, i can clip an unwilling cat’s claws, and i can handle real crises like leaking pipes. calmly and capably, i flushed the toilet to drain the tank, slid a bucket beneath the hose, and turned the cutoff valve tightly closed.
whereupon the valve began to leak all over the floor too.
…
and that’s about the point at which i sighed, decided on comfort food hawaiian pizza delivery, and called the caretaker. i may be capable, but i am not even about to get in a bitchfight with the toilet over who is the boss of whom, because i know that that’s a fight with only a loser: wet, frustrated niqui.
and now i’m probably not even compatible with Google TiSP anymore, either.
alas. thwarted!
not even listening to friends point out ways that it was wrong all day yesterday prepared me for exactly how bad this is. i think it’s pretty safe to say that the new Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame Definitive 200 Albums of All Time — “A list of 200 ranked albums that should be in every music lover’s collection” — is possibly the worst compiled list of music in history.
seriously. i was with you for numbers 2 and 3 (c’mon, i like Sgt Pepper’s too but it’s not the best rock album of all time just because you like “A Little Help from My Friends”) and willing to extend grudging support through number 10 (though personally i don’t think Nevermind is nirvana’s best work, but whatevs), but … the soundtrack to Titanic is more important than David Bowie??? two Eminem albums more noteworthy than any PE? admit it, you guys just called a lunch meeting and threw names out and then some intern rearranged them to sound good.
quicken automatically downloads all my statement information from my various accounts each morning.
this morning i noticed it was reporting a transaction on my second, forced-to-get bank one checking account. “hm,” i thought, “that’s strange, since i certainly haven’t done anything.”
turns out? they just deducted $22.95 of my $25 balance to buy me some checks. not that i authorized it or anything. they just kinda went and did it.
NOW IT’S WAR.
