the everyday adventures of sabrina

i didn’t expect to feel this badly about giving up puremessage.

it’s just … i’m so frustrated with work, that i can’t ever get anything done, and i like puremessage so much, and i was really grooving with it … and then i had to give it up, and now i’m really disconsolate.

michael’s taking it over for the install and rollout, because of course it’s important that someone other than me knows it well. it was my suggestion to give it to him in the first place, because he would probably welcome a project that (a) is really neat and interesting, and (b) will get a lot of positive approbation from the university community when it’s done, as opposed to the boring, soul-sucking crap he gets stuck with all the time (e.g., jumpstart, listhost). but i didn’t really want to give it up at all, and now i’m really sad that i did.

and max has cut me out of the loop with dealing with sophos. i called him on it yesterday, that i felt like he didn’t want me talking to the salespeople anymore (meaning both sophos, newman group, and mirapoint). he denied that that was the case, but whether he is doing it consciously or not, he is. i’ll say something about needing to call deb, our AE, and he’ll ask me for her phone number, saying he’ll do it, and then ask me how some mirapoint foo is going. so now i can’t even help from the outside, never mind doing any of the technical stuff.

i wish i could be more like blair, from whom people are too scared to take projects away, possibly because he projects a sort of do-not-anger-me field in addition to the aura of i’m-the-only-one-who-knows-this-so-go-away-and-just-let-me-do-my-job. instead, i finally get something i enjoy and now i have to watch from the sidelines as other people do it. joy.

is it too selfish to admit that, sometimes, i don’t want to share? and that, possibly, it would have been nice if someone had said “why do you want someone else to do the rollout? you’ve done well enough with it so far.”

today is one of those days where i need a ‘chair yoga’ desk calendar.