the everyday adventures of sabrina

i'm happy, hope you're happy too

woohoo!

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i have never been so happy to have chosen to go elsewhere than whole paycheck in my life.

CHICAGO — A North Side Whole Foods Market has reopened after city inspectors closed it Thursday for “substantial rodent activity.”

Following a patron’s complaint, inspectors from the mayor’s Dumpster Task Force closed down the gourmet supermarket at 3300 N. Ashland Ave. But Streets and Sanitation Commissioner Al Sanchez said in a release Friday that the establishment had passed a reinspection and has reopened.

(via chi metblog.)

go me!

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i am so proud of myself. i had sort of mentally picked out what sort of wine i wanted to serve with dinner, but then i started to second-guess myself, so i went googling. and people totally recommended exactly what i was thinking. i am badass.

(and, yes, i am totally ignoring the fact that the internet can prove anything to be truth no matter how dumb it is, such as the fact that dinosaurian wiliness is the only thing keeping us from seeing the dinosaurs that yet walk the earth.)

in other news, ‘dinosaurian wiliness’ is today’s catchphrase. DINOSAURIAN WILINESS! come on! is it not just a beautiful phrase? oh, those wily dinosaurs! with all their wiliness! and their wine!

so, max is out of town on vacation (he’s got two whole weeks, the bastard), so i am chairman pro tempore. i am temporarily responsible for this madness! my coworkers find endless, endless amusement in this.

* niqui was pretty sure she had some shit she needed to do before she left the office, but nonetheless, she flees.
flee!
don't worry about the shit. it will roll after you
or lie in wait for your return.
the shit keeps track of the very large hat at all times
the shit is vigilant!
the shit is always watching.

soon, i shall kill them all.

yesterday was a pretty special day. one of our message servers (the back end mail servers) had trouble resolving DNS (SEP! SEP! …oh, fuck; everything’s our problem), which resulted in it not being able to contact the LDAP servers, so it couldn’t authenticate anyone, thus email for a subset of the alphabet was “down” for four hours because they couldn’t log in. that was pretty fun — fun in that “i hope it ends soon, because i really want to get to the part where i get to poke my eyes out with a hot poker!” way. yeah.

although, on the bright side — when the stresses of the day get to be too much for me, i can put on a lamé jumpsuit and dance around and sing to MOSCOW! MOSCOW! that has the benefit of having a faster clean up than poking my eyes out.

actually, after work yesterday, i ended up going shopping. fox&obel — hey, look, they’re hiring! — for meat for dinner tonight, but they were lacking another ingredient i needed so i ended up driving way up north to trader joe’s. which turned out to be a good thing, as on the way i passed a petco and was reminded i needed to buy cat food. and since my cats are picky bastards, i always have to drive up to the north side or down to like bedford park to buy cat food, so at least it was a trip i was going to have to make anyways and i got to consolidate it. and TJs is, of course, next to the CB2, so i stopped in there to see if they had any bar stools i liked. (ikea has bar stools i like, and priced how i would like my bar stools to be priced, and they fold so i can put them away, but ikea is in fucking schaumberg and i’m not taking today off work to go out there and buy them, and i want bar stools so that i actually have somewhere to seat the guest i’m having over for dinner this evening. besides, not everything in my house needs to be from ikea.)

oh, that reminds me. i saw the least useful product evah at CB2: record frames. i ask you: who needs this? look, if you still have LPs, you’re probably listening to them. and if you don’t, you’re not going to go buy one just so you can hang it on your wall. and if you’re a musician who wants to display your own work, well, you’re probably not going to get some cheesy thing from CB2 to display it with, either because (a) you’re a starving artist and can’t afford trendy cheese, or (b) you actually have some pride.

crazy shit. i tell you.

i had to get to work really early this morning to do some work. parking around here is really easy at 0615. i got a total rock star spot, except that real rock stars probably don’t work here. alas.

oh, i should wrap this up, i think i probably have to go talk on the phone or do something else managery. bah.

pwned!

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The Chicago Maroon, brought to you by 'SpyKids from Brasil,' apparently.


GARY COLEMAN:
Right now you are down and out and feeling really crappy

NICKY:
I’ll say.

GARY COLEMAN:
And when I see how sad you are
It sort of makes me…
Happy!

NICKY:
Happy?!

GARY COLEMAN:
Sorry, Nicky, human nature–
Nothing I can do!
It’s…
Schadenfreude!
Making me feel glad that I’m not you.

NICKY:
Well, that’s not very nice, Gary!

GARY COLEMAN:
I didn’t say it was nice! But everybody does it!

D’ja ever clap when a waitress falls and drops a tray of glasses?

NICKY:
Yeah…

GARY COLEMAN:
And ain’t it fun to watch figure skaters falling on their asses?

NICKY:
Sure!

GARY COLEMAN:
And don’tcha feel all warm and cozy,
Watching people out in the rain!

NICKY:
You bet!

GARY COLEMAN:
That’s…

GARY AND NICKY:
Schadenfreude!

GARY COLEMAN:
People taking pleasure in your pain!

NICKY:
Oh, Schadenfreude, huh?
What’s that, some kinda Nazi word?

GARY COLEMAN:
Yup! It’s German for “happiness at the misfortune of others!”

NICKY:
“Happiness at the misfortune of others.” That is German!

Watching a vegetarian being told she just ate chicken

GARY COLEMAN:
Or watching a frat boy realize just what he put his dick in!

NICKY:
Being on the elevator when somebody shouts “Hold the door!”

GARY AND NICKY:
“No!!!”
Schadenfreude!

GARY COLEMAN:
“Fuck you, lady, that’s what stairs are for!”

NICKY:
Ooh, how about…
Straight-A students getting Bs?

GARY COLEMAN:
Exes getting STDs!

NICKY:
Waking doormen from their naps!

GARY COLEMAN:
Watching tourists reading maps!

NICKY:
Football players getting tackled!

GARY COLEMAN:
CEOs getting shackled!

NICKY:
Watching actors never reach

GARY AND NICKY:
The ending of their oscar speech!
Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!

GARY COLEMAN:
The world needs people like you and me who’ve been knocked around by fate.
‘Cause when people see us, they don’t want to be us, and that makes them feel great.

NICKY: Sure!
We provide a vital service to society!

GARY AND NICKY:
You and me!
Schadenfreude!
Making the world a better place…
Making the world a better place…
Making the world a better place…
To be!

GARY COLEMAN:
S-C-H-A-D-E-N-F-R-E-U-D-E!

i will:

  • buy a 1964-1/2 Ford Mustang convertible in candy-apple red, with a manual 289. and possibly also a DeLorean.
  • pay off my mortgage.
  • buy a new iPod to replace my creaky original 5G.
  • get an in-unit washer/dryer for my apartment.
  • have a closetful of chucks in a whole range of colors.