tally: one forced reboot after laptop wouldn’t wake up from sleep, about five firefox crashes before i gave up, a switch back to safari in retaliation for same, readjustment to safari, … then the safari crashes start…
I HATE YOU, SYSTEM UPDATE 10.3.7! fuck computing, today. i’m going to go watch tv or something. jeez.i have puremessage problems that i’ve been trying and trying to resolve, and the shit is just not cooperating with me… at all.
then there’s the law school, who were supposed to be our first puremessage rollout, only it didn’t work out that way because of our problems, and now i’m stuck jerking them around because there are so many other PRIORITY ONEs to cope with, which makes me feel super-sized shitty. it’s gotten to the point where i don’t even want to talk to them on the phone because i’m so fucking tired of making excuses, even though i have no choice in the matter. then there was the person who works for the campus computer stores who was told by some helpful, yet WRONG, person that the correct way to set her email account up to get less spam was to forward it to my sendmail development machine … which just happens to be currently configured to devnull any message sent directly to it, since its last job was stress-testing the puremessage milter servers. it’s not, strictly speaking, my problem, but i feel bad for her — i mean, she lost five days’ worth of email on this mystery person’s advice; even if i didn’t actually have anything to do with it, it’s still my machine she used, so i feel bad — so i want to go through the logs on the mail exchangers. but that’ll take me at least an hour to run through, if not longer, and that’s an hour i just plain ain’t got at the moment. i’ve been completely sleepy and fogheaded all day today; all i want to do is go to sleep. coffee has been of no help. i can’t believe it’s not closer to five than it is. i’m supposed to go to this tea meetup tonight up on belmont, only it’s fucking cold out and all i really want to do is go home, watch a west wing rerun on tivo, and drink … well, a pot of tea, really, but the point here is that i can be in comfy flannel pjs at home, and i can’t there. and did i mention that the mirapoint rollout date is in, like, three weeks? good times, good times! i hate this quarter. can it be summer now, please?so a week ago i signed up to be an author for the chicago metroblog. thus far i have written nothing interesting. except, perhaps, for this short rumination on why i love chicago.
pirate dan was telling me the other day about a military proposal for a non-lethal weapon to be used against enemies: the sex bomb. apparently, the idea was that you would drop this bomb on your enemies and they would just go off and have sex with each other, thus making them all bitchy the next morning when they realized what had happened, so they wouldn’t want to fight anymore whilst having these “OMG, i just fucked a guy!” revelations.0
this sounded incredibly improbable to me. i mean, i think i read that story on fanfiction.net one time. apparently i was wrong, though. gay.com:The aphrodisiac chemical would be designed to make enemy soldiers sexually irresistible to each other. The resulting widespread homosexual behavior, the proposal suggests, would cause a “distasteful but completely non-lethal blow” to morale.
you know, i’m not a scientist or anything, but i have a couple of questions here.
first of all, how are you going to make sure that you infect the enemy with gayitude, rather than just “screw anything that moves, or possibly that doesn’t, or maybe just your hand ‘cos, i mean, it’s right *there*”? are you just relying on the numbers and the testosterone — which is just the tiniest *smidge* sexist, you know — or have you actually magically isolated the gay light-switch? because if you have, i think you need to release that information to me under the FOIA so i can go talk to some people and maybe bring them tasty home-baked goods.1 second of all, exactly how naive are you? it seems to me that the premise of such a weapon must be that everyone is naturally homophobic … and a sensitive, introspective (…gay!) type of person, as well, someone that’s just going to sit there and mope about having discovered that the prostate is good for more than getting cancer. you don’t think that, oh, i don’t know, this presupposed homophobia will lead the sex-bombed into blushingly asking their tricks, “so… let’s go bomb those fuckers into the next millennium, because i *totally* didn’t mean to stick my dick up your ass”? and, i mean, i’m not even going to touch the gay-politics implications of someone proposing the development of such a weapon — i’m not going to jump on my liberal high horse about how dare you use natural, healthy sexuality as a way to hurt poor innocent people, blah de fucking blah. i’m still hung up on the “my god, someone thought that was practical enough to actually put it on a piece of paper and hand it in to their boss???” i mean, seriously, were you out drinking with your buddies and they dared you to propose a sex bomb? is this the product of too much jaegermeister? (also, i have a pretty kinsey scale-friendly philosophy of human sexuality, so there you go.) i think i have to go listen to tom jones now. p.s. it’s worth reading the (very brief) article just to see what other things were apparently a part of the proposal as well. ftr, they all support my “drunken dare” theory. —0 – of course, dan told this to me in the context of “i totally want that weapon, so i can drop it on chicago while wearing a gas mask, thus eliminating all other men from my competition, and i can just sit back and reap the harvest of boobies.” 1 – i mean, everybody likes cookies.
