Dear Headache:

You have been plaguing me for this entire week. Actually, you were plaguing me last week too. It’s time you were on your way. I am tired of you. Shoo. Shoo!

Sincerely (shoo! shoo!),
–sabrina

Dear Springtime Cold:

You have also overstayed your welcome. I’ve gone through two boxes of Sudafed, and they make you show ID for that shit now. At least Headache had the decency to be able to be mitigated with an over-the-counter drug. You require effort, and also Kleenex accessories. And I am running low on Kleenex. Go away!

Snifflingly,
–sabrina