you know that thing where my mail service really sucks? i mean, seriously, just honestly stinks?

my debit card expires at the end of march and i haven’t received a new one yet.

today i decided to call chase to see if they could get me a new card to my local branch — the one right next to the division blue line stop — for me to pick up, thus bypassing the black hole 60622.

very long story short: if it was an illinois account, i could do this, but my account is not an illinois account — apparently because it’s gone through a couple of acquisitions, totally nothing to do with, you know, me and my always-having-lived-in-illinois-ness — and there is no way to make it an illinois account. that’s right. there’s no way to say “this person actually lives in illinois — you know, like how the billing address has ALWAYS BEEN IN ILLINOIS?” it turns out that the solution is actually to open a new checking account. so this will be fun. i was going to file my taxes this weekend but i always do direct withdrawal or deposit, so now i guess i’ll mostly do them and just hold off on the money bit for a couple weeks. actually, i’m grateful i hadn’t already filed since now my checking account’s going to be all upheaval-tastic. this is going to be great fun: i get to change my mortgage auto-withdrawal, my netflix, all kinds of stuff. this will be great. hey, they are sending me free checks!

i swear to you, if i get home today and there is a debit card in my mailbox, i can not be held responsible for my actions.

ETA (1920): no debit card upon my arrival home. um, hooray? also: as promised, the new checking account was created right alongside my old one by the time i got home from work. too bad it’s the wrong kind of checking account and i’m going to have to call to fix that!

thank goodness my new philosophy of life is: fuck it!