last night, the Corridor of Doom was host to a very special visitor: The Alcohol Fairy.
someone came in the night and dropped off delicious beverages for several of us. whoever it was did a good job in paying attention to our individual tastes, as everyone’s drink was customized. none of us has any fucking clue who it was. we spent, seriously, like 90 minutes in aggregate trying to figure it out. i actually have a long, annotated list of suspects on my whiteboard now. it is still a mystery.from today forward, i shall refer to wolin-levin as “the slumlords.”
the slumlords are incompetent fucktards, if by “incompetent” i mean “stunningly uncapable of even the most basic of higher brain function,” and by “fucktards” i mean “complete fucking morons.” the slumlords’ sins against niqui thus far include:- buying niqui’s apartment building, away from the not just always friendly and pleasant to deal with but downright competent waterstone management;
- threatening to terminate the leases of tenants such as niqui (while still holding said tenants liable for rent for the remainder of the term, naturally) for violating what they claimed was a “no-pet” policy in niqui’s building, when in fact it is a no-dog building and niqui (presumably as well as the other fine catowning tenants) paid a deposit and has a lease rider permitting cats — then actually arguing on the phone with niqui about the existence of said deposit and rider;
- lying flat-out to niqui’s face when she cornered the building assistant manager to ask if their intent was to turn the building into condos and terminate/not renew current lessees’ leases, by saying that that was just “a vicious lie some tenants are spreading”;
- (unconfirmed, but suspected with pretty good reason) illegally entering niqui’s apartment over the labor day weekend, while niqui was away, but of course having no paperwork showing that they would have had any reason to enter niqui’s unit;
- painted — PAINTED!!! — our gorgeous hardwood paneled lobby with this ridiculously tacky powder-blue/brown/silver color scheme;
- apparently ceased all non-critical cleaning operations such that our hallway carpeting is utterly filthy;
- apparently responded to at least one act of massive vandalism in the 640 tower and at least one act of breaking and entering by terminating our security patrols around and through the towers; and
- apparently illegally entered my unit a SECOND time, again without explanation (though i did not confront them this time, guessing i would receive exactly as much honesty as i have previously).
sunday we got notes shoved under our doors informing us that the slumlords would be entering our apartments this week to change furnace filters and smoke-alarm batteries. well, actually, i am fully capable of changing my own smoke-alarm battery and have done so a couple of times in the past, but whatever. at least the slumlords saw fit to notify me this time.
of course that meant that i came home today to find that they had not just left my door unlocked but actually LEFT THE KEY TO MY APARTMENT HANGING OUT OF THE LOCK. so, let’s see. they announced the acquisition of the building complex by the slumlords while i was on my roadtrip, which puts it at mid-july. that means that they are averaging 1.6 pissings-off of niqui per month. WAY TO GO, SLUMLORDS! i am so indescribably happy that i chose not to purchase my apartment unit. even if it means i have to go on an apartment hunt. i shall soon be free of the slumlords! within five months! i shall be freeeee!as have noted previously, am beginning to sink into the anxious part of “i have to move!”
my lease is not actually up until 30 april, but this being me, i want to have what i am doing figured out long before then. i keep browsing the reader and craigslist listings, which is ultimately an exercise in frustration because anything posted in mid-december is a posting for immediate or january occupancy, not april. but i think mostly what i’m after is not an apartment which is everything i want and for april occupancy, but an idea that i will be able to find something that i want, in my price range, in a neighborhood i either want or don’t mind.
so far, here’s what i have figured out. don’t feel obliged to follow the jump; i’m just being obsessive and anxious, here.
