So here’s some groundbreaking science! “‘Helicopter’ parents have neurotic kids, study suggests.” NO! You don’t say! Some kid who never gets to decide anything on his own gets anxious when it turns out he has to decide things? This is a fascinating new discovery in human development! Nobody could have seen that coming!
My favorite line of the article was where it was talking about the study itself, which was issued to college freshman in order to determine if their parents had aircraft-like tendencies or not. One of the things asked was for the student to rate his agreement with the statement “If two days go by without contact my parents would contact me.” Two days? Really? Two days a college kid can’t be on his own? That’s just ridiculous. They’re in college, let them go, Jesus. I mean, I think if I didn’t phone for two years my parents might get curious, but it seems unlikely they’d actually pick up a phone and check in. Back then, yeah, I pretty much went a year between obligatory status updates, and that frequently only because I kept moving apartments and had to give out new phone numbers and stuff. Two days? I would lose my tiny little mind if anyone demanded status updates on my life at such a frequency. I wonder if these poor neurotic helicopter-ees are going to grow up to be the world’s best middle managers or something, just from being acclimated to being micromanaged from above. Yikes. Now I’m sorry I even imagined a bunch of kids being micromanaged. That just ain’t right.
