someone asked me today if i was all stiff the day after the picnic from all that strenuous volleyball.

guys, i’m fat and i had forgotten the direction of rotation — but i was playing with ten year-olds.

sheesh.

in other news, i’m enjoying the fact that i am singlehandedly keeping a four-seat table away from the softball-playing smirking losers trying to find seats in this pub. you know why? because the bar staff know me and i’m not a shithead like you. i may be blogging… but still not a loser softball-playing shithead.

mnuahahahah.

in other other news, i am forced against my will to wonder what this softball-playing loser shithead meant, exactly, when he said “guys, i’m going to hit the head; do you want anything?”

maybe i should give up this table, after all.