Next on Lifetime: One woman’s story of being separated from her most beloved A records: Don’t Touch My Domain!
motherfucking incompetent sacks of shit!
the situation: ziggurat.org claimed to have been expired (false!), and its registrar helpfully redirected it to their crappy “this domain has expired!” pseudo-helpful search portal thingy. i paid up the extortion^Wrenewal fee, figuring i’d get ziggurat back up and then figure out the billing wonkiness. i am such an optimist.or Why I’m so Glad We Have Java Customer Service Chat Applets so We Don’t Have to Use those Awful Telephones where People Actually at Least Tell You before They Put You on Hold. (also known as “Sabrina Was So Pissed Off She Actually Typed Using Capital Letters.”) You are connected to ! Please Wait!
Mike: Hi, my name is Mike. How may I help you?
sabrina: Yes. I am trying to update my nameservers and it will not update them or give me a reason why. It just says it was unable to change or that the nameservers were invalid (they are not)
sabrina: This is for the domain name ziggurat.org.
sabrina: I am trying to give it ns1.mydyndns.org through ns5.mydyndns.org.
…crickets chirping… a tumbleweed blows across my keyboard…
sabrina: Hello?
i find time to bitch about this shit in IRC…
Mike: sorry about that
Mike: i was reviewing your information
Mike: ok all fixed
Mike: if you try it again it will work
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR PUTTING THROUGH THE CHANGES FOR ME, THE CUSTOMER THAT YOUR COMPANY HAVE INCONVENIENCED THROUGH INCOMPETENCE. oh, no, wait, that’s not what happened, is it?
sabrina: What was the problem?
I am going to eat your firstborn.
Mike: you need to have the domain locking tool in order for changes to be made
Mike: i have added it and it will work now
sabrina: What’s a domain locking tool?
Mike: it is called transfer lock
Mike: so no one can steal your domain or transfer it to a different register without your apporval
OH THE IRONY.
sabrina: Ok, I just tried again and it failed again. Same error message.
sabrina: Says the code is (long string of gibberish).
Mike: do you have the session id?
Mike: ok one second
Mike: strange it worked
YES! VERY STRANGE! STRANGE THINGS ARE HAPPENING EVERYWHERE TODAY, IT SEEMS!
Mike: if you login you will see the change
Mike: and your domain will point to those servers in 24-48 hours
…wherein sabrina begins to lose her shit:
sabrina: …24-48 hours?
sabrina: You’ve got to be kidding me.
…my officemate decided to retire from the office at this point. I may have verbalized some opinions.
Mike: thats how long it takes for dns to update
Incomptent Registrar Tech Support Rule #87: if you use the scary acronym the customer will weep in submissive fear of your clear technical superiority and go away!
sabrina: I don’t mean having cached entries filter out of other people’s DNS servers, that I can’t help — but how long until *your* whois servers refresh the root nameservers so that new enquiries work?
Mike: its the same amount of time
“whats a root nameserver?”
Mike: out system does a dns update every twelve hour
Mike: so it could be at the end of today
sabrina: OK.
“I cannot trust myself to use more than two syllables, and the two I’m going to use aren’t ‘Good work.'”
sabrina: BTW, in future you may want to say something like “hang on, I’m looking up your information” instead of just idling. I was worried this java thing was broken.
Mike: i apologize for that but you gave alot of information, so i had to look it up
Yeah, you’re absolutely right. I should have waited until you asked me which domain name I was talking about and what I was trying to set my nameservers to, because that would have been SOMEHOW DIFFERENT.
sabrina: Right, I’m just saying that saying “hang on a sec” would have helped me out while you were looking that up.
“Yeah, this is all going on my blog. EVEN THOUGH IT DOESN’T MOTHERFUCKING WORK.”
Mike: ok
Mike: was there anything else?
sabrina: No, that’s it for now, thanks.
Mike: no problem
Mike: bye
Mike Has Disconnected
Ciao.
