to be perfectly honest, i am a crap student. it’s just — it is beyond me, the ability to force myself to pay attention to something i don’t care about (or find tedious, pointless, or otherwise scorn-worthy). and i am an awful procrastinator, which builds up and builds up. once i fall behind then i avoid catching up because that leads to thinking about being behind in the first place, which makes me feel guilty, then i just feel more anxious and guilty about being even more behind, and pretty soon i’m hopelessly caught up in this avoidance loop. i have no idea how to go about breaking out of this sort of cycle, but it’s going to fuck me up a lot (and in a spectacularly expensive way) if i can’t get a handle on it quick. plus, i got behind in spanish when i went to ohio a couple weekends ago and i have a test tomorrow which i am not nearly so confident about as i was the last one, and that smartass crack i made the other day about an ‘easy A’? not so easy if you don’t even read the part of the chapter with the irregular verbs you have to memorize.

anyone have any ideas, books (audio preferred; it’s the only damn way i have time to read anything anymore), web sites, helpful tips, mantras, whatever?