White Sox players I would most like to do various things GET YOUR FILTHY MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER with:

• I’d most like to feed a double bacon steakburger and shake to: #10, Alexei Ramirez
• I’d most like to go sing bad drunken karaoke with: #32, Brian Anderson and #45, Bobby Jenks
• I’d most like to go work on a Habitat for Humanity house with: #25, Jim Thome
• I’d most like to get to bring me homemade venison jerky: #56, Mark Buehrle
• I’d most like to just go get a beer (or six) and hang out with: #12, AJ Pierzynski
• I’d most like to get in a batting cage so he could help me with my swing: #20, Carlos Quentin
• I’d most like to go to a nice sit-down restaurant with: #14, Paul Konerko
• I’d most like to go to a Kanye show with: #23, Jermaine Dye (dude has had Kanye songs as his intro music two seasons running now, I think it’s a sign we’d both have fun)
• I’d most like to take Spanish lessons from: #13, Ozzie Guillén