second round of oral surgery was today. the operation was a success; the two impacted bottom teeth were much easier to remove than the freaky mutant shark tooth, and i’m now wisdom tooth-free. unfortunately, i’m in a lot of pain, which was not helped by the fact that they wrote the magic authorization-for-dispensing-narcotics id number wrong on the scrip and the pharmacy refused to give me vicodin. fortunately i had some left over from round one.
right now, i’m mostly just interested in fast-forwarding a few days to the point where i have forgotten how rotten this feels, and am able to rejoice in the fact that my jaw is not giving me constant headaches due to overcrowding. oh, some free advice to any oral surgeons out there:
- when the patient is 3/4 done with having her wisdom teeth out, NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO MENTION SHE SHOULD HAVE CHOSEN A GENERAL, BECAUSE SHE DOES NOT TOLERATE “PRESSURE.” no matter how sympathetic you are to the poor sad whimpering girl in your chair of doom, this is the equivalent of saying “i told you so.” seriously, just keep that little tidbit to yourself.
- (and, for your information, nobody told me so. the resident, who was very sweet (especially in comparison to The First Oral Surgeon Experience), was like oh, get the local, it’ll be fiiiiiiiiiine. everyone was in fact wrong, but considering the position i was in at the time that you brought this up today i did not really find it necessary to correct you. also i would have sounded like bill cosby if i had tried.)
- (and, for your further information, i handled the second tooth just fine! i can’t help it if apparently all the wisdom teeth on the right side of my face were involved in a massive right-wing conspiracy to cause me pain.)
- and, finally: never mind the circumstances, the patient never wants to hear the “u” word: unusual. especially said with a note of curiosity in your voice. i don’t care if you are a D4. just keep it in your pants, pal.
