there’s really nothing quite like being the only single girl at a party and not being hit on.

and it doesn’t particularly matter if it was a tiny party, or half the guys at the party were married or otherwise unavailable. there’s still this distinct feeling of explicit rejection.

every time i think i’m okay with the idea that i’ll never be good enough, or whatever, something stupid happens to make me not okay any longer.

and it upsets me so goddamn much because the fact is that no matter how much yogurt i eat or how many salads i have, i’ll never be good enough. i gave up on ever being hot years ago, then reluctantly gave up on being cute, and now i guess i’m giving up on being even remotely attractive. i used to think that maybe i was smart or funny enough (even if somewhat shy) to make up for the rest, but obviously i was utterly, utterly mistaken the entire time.

i hate this. i have been going through life my entire life wishing i could be different, and trying so hard, but always failing. and i guess i should just give up.

this sounds so depressing, but i’m honestly this depressed. i have a lot of friends, but no one ever hits on me. at this point, i’d settle for a sleazy scumbag obviously cheating on his wife, that i’d end up turning down, just to feel like someone, anyone might possibly like me.