forgot to weight myself before going downstairs to work out this morning … ordinarily would have done it before so that any water i drink doesn’t count, but i didn’t drink much water so i just weighed myself when i got back upstairs afterwards.

192.5.

i’m glad that today isn’t my official weigh-in day so that i don’t have to believe it. my scale’s a little wonky, so i usually weigh myself three times and see if it can agree with itself twice out of those three times. today it thought 192.5 all three times.

even if it is for real, i’m sure it’s just water-related, and not actual weight. and even though i’m busily talking myself down, i know it’s going to be disappointing to have the scale reflect more realistic numbers in the future.

still. that’s the lowest that scale has read since october, when i hit 194.5 (and was pretty joyful about it, until an offhand comment a friend made about us being the fat ladies really killed me… i was so upset about that, you have no idea — 194.5 was my new low in FOREVER (and it was a believable weigh-in, not like this one), and it was that evening that she made that remark. way to make a fuckton of work seem useless. oh well.)

slacked too much this morning, am now late. should go finish getting ready for work. nonetheless… hmm.

did manage to hold out against the maddening desire for snackysnacks last night. after the snackysnack craze passed, came the sugarlust. i’m not kidding, it was bad. i don’t normally crave candy or stuff like that (although i do occasionally hunt and kill some doritos or some cookies), but last night was bad. i ended up having a single piece of chocolate from the now-off-limits emergency stash in my freezer, and some pink grapefruit green tea. the tea actually helped, i think, it mellowed out the chocolate sweetness, and, you know i really like tea so it’s always kind of a treat to try a new kind and have it turn out to be yummy. but man, yesterday was bad. i don’t know what the hell was the matter with me, but it was freakish and strange.