last night, aftermath went to the L&L Tavern for cheap beer and hanging out. happily, when we arrived, Angry Bar Wench was not on duty. instead, some actually friendly guy was working. this continued on for several hours, but eventually all good things must end, and Angry Bar Wench showed up for work.

none of us is exactly sure why Angry Bar Wench hates us. perhaps “not sure” is an exaggeration — in fact i think it’s fair to say that none of us has any fucking idea. She just does.

at first, it was strange and foreign to not have the bar staff like us, and many of us tried to tip her into submission — or if not submission, at least a smile — or maybe just not so much fucking glaring at us all the time. this approach proved ineffectual. Angry Bar Wench will not be swayed by your money. Angry Bar Wench is angry, and she likes it that way.

imagine my surprise when, last night, shortly into Angry Bar Wench’s shift, i went to the bar to fetch drinks for the table and she actually smiled at me. i was so taken aback by this that i immediately ran back to the table and excitedly told Lana. she found it extremely difficult to believe. indeed, i found myself doubting that it had actually happened within minutes. however, in the interest of “it can’t rain all the time,” i suppose that into every Angry Bar Wench’s life, a few smiles must fall — if only by sheer unmitigated accident.

we passed several hours at the L&L, and everything went well. many stories were told, many of us were either embarrassed or attempting to embarrass each other. in short, it was a traditional aftermath thanksgiving. except it wasn’t thanksgiving, but that doesn’t matter to us anyway.

at some point, one of the gentleman from the bar approached our table. he presented us with a plastic cup, and announced that he was taking up a collection for Angry Bar Wench. “she’s really pissed at you guys,” he related. we expressed exactly about as much surprise as one might expect us to express when confronted with this. in fact, i believe that i told the gentleman about Angry Bar Wench’s history with aftermath. he offered to match our contributions to his fund — aka, the plastic cup — fifty cents on the dollar, but we were not swayed. we have learned through extensive experience that — as i said above — Angry Bar Wench likes to be angry, and she really doesn’t give a shit about whether we want her to be happy. she happily accepts the money, as you would expect, but (to paraphrase a slogan michael and i once came up with for The Pub, should we ever find ourselves operating that august institution, “And Never Any Goddamn Karaoke”) — never any goddamn smiles.

it’s been a while since our initial encounters with Angry Bar Wench, and i find myself simply not caring anymore. Angry Bar Wench is who she is — and Angry Bar Wench is angry. that’s okay. i’m not there to see if she’s happy or not. frankly, i’m there for the two dollar beers. i like the bar, i like the jukebox, i like the other bar staff, and if Angry Bar Wench is angry, whatever. it’s sort of Zen. she obviously accepts her anger, and is happy with it. therefore, it becomes an exercise for me to find it in myself to accept her angriness as her essential nature, and find out how it is in sync with the rest of the natural world.

and failing that, i really don’t give a shit.

random guy implied that Angry Bar Wench was pissed at us because we weren’t tipping. i find this difficult to believe. despite Angry Bar Wench’s anger, none of us tips poorly. i myself tipped a dollar a drink. this is, I think, fairly generous when one is drinking $2 beers, and disqualifies me for “cheapskate” status.

however, don’t think that Random Guy didn’t have an influence on aftermath. in fact, Random Guy’s implications struck one of our veteran members as incredibly offensive, understandably i think, causing him to leave the bar and vow never to turn.

score one for Angry Bar Wench. but the rest of us will be back. because we still don’t care if she’s angry, bored, sad, plaintive, happy, or on fire so long as she still gives us beer.