1. fat-free cheese of any sort, but especially cream cheese.
  2. in a similar vein, fat-free ranch dressing.
  3. watching reality television programming in which the point is to humiliate or make someone feel bad.
  4. burnt popcorn, and the smell thereof.
  5. being bored in any circumstance where i had an option to be otherwise.
  6. cranberry sauce from a can served as a cylinder with the can-ridges still in it.
  7. bands that think their names are cool because they strategically eliminated vowels (e.g., Staind).
  8. john wells being left in charge of any dramatic tv series i enjoy(ed).
  9. dan bernstein’s attitude problem.
  10. in no way are puppies ever, ever cuter than kittens.