one of the things i find personally the most difficult to cope with in relating with people, but especially with colleagues, is passive aggressiveness.
I don’t mind if you don’t like my manners.
I don’t like them myself. They’re pretty bad.
I grieve over them on long winter evenings.
—Philip Marlowe in The Big Sleep
i got officially penalized for knitting in meetings today. there’s just one thing. okay, more than one thing.
- i fidget. if you’re trapping me in a conference room for an hour, i’m going to have to have something to occupy my hands, unless you really want me driving everyone apeshit by clicking a ballpoint pen open and closed.
- i wasn’t the first person who began to bring knitting/crochet to meetings.
- i am not now the only person who brings knitting/crochet to meetings.
- i began bringing knitting to meetings because i find it less distracting than what i was doing before, which was bringing my laptop.
of course the person or persons who complained about this didn’t actually say anything to me about it, either during the meeting(s) in question, or after. that would be silly.
had they asked, i would have said something like “i actually pay far more attention when my hands are busy and i’m listening than when i’m doodling flowers and trees on a sheet of paper, counting ceiling tiles, or using my laptop to surf the web,” and then they would have had to have felt bad for automatically thinking the worst of me and my motives. (aside: i’m told that my kniting is “confrontational.” evidently i’ve been knitting weaponry without even realizing it.) whoever you are: your behavior is more suited to the third grade than a collegial relationship at a world-class university. next time just say something.
