niqui: *shows up at 1320 for 1400 appointment with the oral surgeon*
receptionist: *shoves endless pile of paperwork at niqui*
niqui: *eventually asks for her ID and insurance card back*
receptionist: oh, i still have to photocopy them. give me a minute.
niqui: …
niqui: *waits another half hour; reads The Princess Bride*
tech #1: you can come back now. okay, over to the xray machine.
niqui: *is xrayed*
tech #2: okay, we’re going to show you a little video now. it’s wonky in the beginning but it gets better.
video: *is completely crappy; terrifies niqui with its contents*
niqui: *stares at corner rather than the display; has mental debate over whether or not she should read her book until the scary bad man is off the teevee*
video: *remains completely crappy until the end — bars of static obscuring a third of the screen — where it becomes inaudibly and unviewably crappy*
tech #2: all done?
niqui: you need to replace that tape. it was unwatchable.
tech #2: it’ll be just a few more minutes. *disappears again*
niqui: *resumes reading*
techs 1-5: *sit outside niqui’s door gossipping about their lives.*
niqui: *resents being forced to watch unwatchable video instead of being talked to, while everyone is so clearly busy out there*
surgeon: *appears!*
surgeon: do you have any questions?
niqui’s mental voice: what did i ever do to you?
niqui: no, i’m just slightly terrified.
surgeon: okay. *looks at xray* so why are you here today?
niqui: …
niqui’s mental voice: uhhhhh……
niqui: …for my wisdom teeth.
surgeon: oh, look at that one. that’s interesting.
niqui’s mental voice: oh do not even tell me my teeth are interesting because that shit i do not need.
surgeon: that looks like two teeth! or, well, maybe it’s just one. i can’t really tell.
niqui’s mental voice: i am going to die in here.
surgeon: you know, i’ve looked at thousands of xrays, i’ve seen ones where — *gestures, describes various frightening wisdom tooth scenarios niqui never needed to know about* — but that’s the first time i’ve seen something like that.
niqui: *begins composing Last Will and Testament.*
surgeon: so i’m not really concerned here.
niqui: …
niqui: *stares at two lower wisdom teeth on xray, both of which are squashing niqui’s normal teeth sideways*
surgeon: i don’t really want to take those two out. they’re so close to the nerve.
niqui’s mental voice: then SEND ME TO SOMEONE ELSE.
surgeon: tell you what, *scribbles out a scrip for amoxicillin, scribbles out a scrip for motrin*, come back in two weeks and we’ll see if we want to take these teeth out.
niqui’s mental voice: yes, perhaps the AMOXICILLIN will take care of the problem. i hear it’s great for removing teeth from my jaw. just like magic
accountant: that’ll be $5, please!

… so: today sucked. tomorrow’s to-do list now includes this line item:
call insurance company and ask how one can appeal the doctor to whom one was referred for services, if said doctor is A MORON.