I feel a little let down. You see, I’m hiring for an open sysadmin position, and … it turns out that it is hard work. Curse you, recession, keeping everybody from wanting to job-hop willy-nilly!
Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve posted the job to LOPSA and Sage‘s job boards. (Representin’ my sysadminly peeps, yo.) I even posted to chi.jobs (eek!). I pinged via linkedin, I pinged via people I drink beer with. I pinged and pinged and generally looked sad and overworked yet hopeful. The only firm ping I’ve gotten in return, however, was a cold-calling recruiter who wanted to pitch some of her candidates to me. So today I used our corporate account and posted to Dice. And then… I started browsing resumes.
Ai yi yi! So many typos. So many people claiming proficiency in the programming language “Linux.” So many with vi skills. (Guys. I am a vi user myself. I love me my visual editor. Still… it is a text editor. It’s like saying that, as a car driver, you have experience with moving the shifter. — Now, if you were a coder and you were badass with lisp, I could see listing emacs. But let’s be real. It’s vi. It’s not that hard.) Aieee. Also, if the only employment experience you are listing is a two-year stint as a student employee at your college help desk, don’t insult me: you do not have 10 years professional experience with Linux. I’ll accept that you may have been playing with it since you were 10, but you probably weren’t doing it 40 hours a week, okay? (And if you were, someone needs to arrest your parents.)
Someone. Save me. Get me an awesome mid-level sysadmin candidate who knows the difference between RPM and .deb. Please. Save me from reading more of these resumes before my mind numbs over for good.
I signed up for a job seeker account as well, so as to scope out the competition. Seems like there are a bunch of “unique,” “prestigious,” and “fast-paced” trading firms hiring out there. I was tempted to rewrite my posting to call us “fun,” “laid-back,” and “awesome yet not stuck up about it,” just to taunt the other guys. I didn’t, though. That would have been snarky. (Also, my posting already has more personality than theirs out of the gate — especially the one that started out with the slightly hostile note, “We do NOT accept unsolicited calls – we ONLY talk to candidates with an appointment – We frown unfavorably on this!” Yeahhhh… I’m totally gonna want to work for you, Ms. Frownypants.)
So, after a brief brush with unpleasant reality (what… you mean qualified, ideal candidates aren’t just going to fall into my lap?? NO FAIR.), this is where I am at. Grumbling about typos and wishing.
Star light, star bright
First star I see tonight
I wish I may, I wish I might
Hire a freaking sysadmin before I die of old age.
ObRelatedLinks: The Top Eight Ways Your Resume Disqualifies You For My Open Job Posting (my blog), 36 Beautiful Resume Ideas That Work (JobMob), How to Edit Your Resume like a Professional Resume Writer (Brazen Careerist).