Login: viv Name: sabrina l downard Directory: /home/viv Shell: /usr/local/bin/zsh Last login Tue Oct 1 12:10 (PDT) on ttyp1 from 77.171.25.229 New mail received Mon Aug 14 21:54 2023 (PDT) Unread since Tue Jun 4 23:26 2019 (PDT) Project: Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. Plan: i grant myself the serenity to defy the things i cannot change, the courage to ignore the things i can, and the wisdom to just not give a fuck. --Wady Alejandro Guzman Of course, this is a heuristic, which is a fancy way of saying that it doesn't work. --Mark-Jason Dominus the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops-- Pavlov's dog was definitely existing, and Schroedinger's cat is in a state of quantum indeterminacy, therefore the non-existent dog implies (by the Everett-Wheeler-Graham Many-Worlds interpretation of Quantum Mechanics), you simply aren't entangled with the world-line in which your cellphone coverage has a state vector of sufficiently high amplitude to be detectable. --Peter da Silva i want to see you smile again like diamonds in the dust the amazing sound of the killing hordes the day the banks collapse on us cease this endless chattering like everything is fine when sorry is not good enough sit in the back while no-one drives i'm so glad you're mine Tuesday was an improvement over Monday, although I'm not yet ready to build a float in honor of this week. --Jay Perry I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous. And God granted it. -- Francois Marie Arouet (Voltaire) I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians, Your Christians are so unlike your Christ. -- Mahatma Gandhi (*from a great height-- You may think that you're a solid object, but in reality you're just a probability cloud. -- Mark Kantrowitz what's so amazing about really deep thoughts? Rum is your friend. Say 'hello, rum! i loooooove you!'. Now drink. -- Stephanie Ware Sadly, there are very few geek boys who look like Ryan Phillipe. Despite what you see in Anti-Trust. -- Mark Allen I happen to bitch the perfect amount for someone in my situation! --Malcolm (in the Middle) Date: Fri, 7 Sep 2001 09:13:23 -0500 (CDT) From: Sabrina L. Downard To: IT Dept Folks Subject: CONTEST: pager destruction Okay, whoever can tell me their most creative suggestion for destruction of a pager gets a free beer. Deadline: uh. 3PM, or whenever I fall asleep. Date: Fri, 7 Sep 2001 09:26:03 -0500 From: Mike Otte To: Sabrina L. Downard Subject: Re: CONTEST: pager destruction Sabrina, I thought about it, but I kept thinking of imploding/smashing/crushing the pager...but I was going about it all wrong. What needs to be done is an electrical overload, causing it to just plain explode. I call this the "Death Star vs. Alderaan challenge." Could the pager hold its own against a jump from a car/jumper cables? Hook the red up to the battery contact. Hook the black anywhere and let the VW take over...You may fire when ready! Date: Fri, 07 Sep 2001 10:30:34 -0400 From: Mark Kantrowitz To: Sabrina L. Downard Subject: Re: CONTEST: pager destruction Chew toy for a terrier. (To date, Yoda has destroyed one cordless telephone and one cable tv remote control. If we give him a new squeaker toy, he'll shred it in under an hour. First, he tears it open. Then he starts pulling out the stuffing, until he finds the squeaker. Then he'll sit crunching the squeaker until it squeaks no more, upon which he'll return to shredding the toy.) Date: Fri, 7 Sep 2001 10:06:44 -0500 From: Tim Kearney To: Sabrina L. Downard Subject: Re: CONTEST: pager destruction Tie it to your bumper and have a joyous ride home. Date: Fri, 7 Sep 2001 10:41:25 -0500 From: David Levine To: Sabrina L. Downard Subject: Re: CONTEST: pager destruction Go to Hawaii -- on the way to the beach take it to a volcano & drop it in. A fiery furnace killed Arnold in Terminator the fire should easily melt my Skytel. :-) Date: Fri, 7 Sep 2001 11:16:37 -0500 From: glenn kapetansky To: Sabrina L. Downard Subject: Re: CONTEST: pager destruction for the love of god, brick it up in the cellar, with only a bottle of wine for company. [The internet is] a place used the world over where people can come together to bitch about movies and share pornography together. -- Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [I]f a design for a teleporter ends up creating a miniature black hole in your machine room, well, hey, sometimes that kind of thing happens when you're tweaking reality using open source tools. -- Benjy Feen only memories fading memories blending into dull tableaux. i want them back. i want them back. I have no brain. someone removed it and replaced it with three retarded gerbils, each with a lever. one lever controls my legs, one my arms and the other one controls the rest. sucks to be controlled by retarded gerbils. -- Max Trefonides The moon is in 'klutz' today! -- Jean Danielson Excellent! So you've generalized on everyone without 22 years of experience based on one person! This rules. You lose, we win. Now shut the fuck up. -- Geoff Gass Aah, some completely unfounded statements. Please do tell me about *my* experience and *my* skills. If you'd like a list of references, I can forward you them if necessary, but then again, I'm not having the dick-length contest here... -- Brian Moyles Martha tells us that she's what we all want to be and should be, and therefore what we all feel we ought to be. She'll gladly sell you the gear for your brand new life, available at discount prices at Kmart: Martha Stewart dishes and Martha Stewart cutting boards and Martha Stewart quilts and a shiny new Martha Stewart soul, which you pick up at the pharmacy department (it's called "Valium"). -- Tristan Trout, from corporatemofo.com In the future we promise not to use 4-letter words in the emails unless its really fucking necessary. -- Christy I do admit it when I'm wrong. People don't realize that. It's just that it doesn't happen very often. -- Marc Van Houwelingen I don't mind sexual depravity, but I just can't stomach poor spelling. -- Jay Perry Far be it from me to suggest that M$ would ever, ever, intentionally break large installed bases of standards compliant software. -- Pete Ehlke I could go on, but I only subject myself to so much ridicule. --David Champion The raw, seething power is affecting my duodenum. More coffee. -- Strata Rose Chalup texas is a small village 50 miles south of me. It has one shop called Houston and a pub. I forget the name. -- from alt.tv.buffy-v-slayer When I am Emperor, all jelly donuts will go in a separate box! -- Eamon Daly As long as I am mayor of this city [Jersey City, New Jersey] the great industries are secure. We hear about constitutional rights, free speech and the free press. Every time I hear these words I say to myself, "That man is a Red, that man is a Communist". You never hear a real American talk like that. -- Frank Hague (1896-1956) You know? You think you have everything figured out. And then comes along a swarm of killer bees. They don't care where you are in life. They don't care about how you /feel/. They just sting. Repeatedly! -- Steph Ware, non-sequigirl. Don't get me started on [yam yam yam yam yam]. -- Karl Denninger I wasn't aware we were getting you started, you just sorta seem to start yourself. -- Dustin Miller I just found out Karl Denninger lives in Niceville, Florida. Isn't it against the law for Karl to live in Niceville? -- Gerry Swetsky ... TARA I go on-line sometimes, but everyone has really bad spelling. It's depressing. InleRah says "Why is there no new Angel for like two whole months?" Kurtz says "They ran out of plots." Kurtz err. Kurtz says "Sorry." Kurtz says "Hair gel." Kurtz says "They ran out of hair gel." Buffy fans are the classiest people in the world. (except for, like, lords and barons and stuff, they have all that classy money.) (I suppose a baron who watched Buffy would probably be the classiest person ever, especially if he was drinking, you know, tea or sherry or something while he was watching.) --Joss Whedon Brian says "Shakespeare: When you need angst, and Buffy/Angel won't premiere for another 5 centuries." Marlow says "Shakespeare's okay, I guess, but he's no Joss Whedon." b l i s s steady as it comes right down to you You are like soooooooooo clever. -- Jerome Jahnke My code does not need to be tested! --Marc Van Houwelingen It is your duty as a citizen-unit to fork() at every opportunity. If you don't then you run the risk that your PIDs will fall into the hands of paedos, terrorists or - worst of all - SMOKERS. --David Cantrell that was just a dream I had last night in my bubble bath C'est les microbes qui auront le dernier mot. -- Louis Pasteur I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them. -- Jane Austen Go with God. -- My car's full. buddy, i don't really care what your problem is, just don't make it mine but if you call, i will answer and if you fall, i'll pick you up and if you court this disaster i'll point you home i'll point you home. Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. -- Robert A. Heinlein Your mind just hasn't been the same since the electro-shock, has it? I'm not nearly as think as you confused I am. the act we act is wearing thin the act we act we under my skin (in a boy's dream) < < < ... < < < > i might as well, > i might as well > < < > round and round and round and round and round and round and round The two most common things in the Universe are hydrogen and stupidity. -- Harlan Ellison Moonwatcher says "The fact remains that NSI is an unrepentant batch of idiot bared baboons run by a bunch of ass headed marketroid morons." Moonwatcher encourages the lot of them to commit sepuku for the good of humanity. Kurtz says "Yes. But Magneto lacks imagination in the 'What shall I call my pitiful little band' Department." I'm a sysadmin. I'm _allowed_ to write sick solutions. The users' ones don't normally quite make me want to cry. They do act as a prompt for a tea-break, though, since at that moment I stop wanting to work. Also gives me a chance to calm down, lest I bludgeon them with heavy sarcasm. -- Phil Pennock It's hard to find people in society who can administer UNIX and professionally carry a weapon. -- Jim Williams, former FBI Computer Intrusion Squad agent There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence. -- Jeremy S. Anderson Shut up. Be nice to BSD. Its made by hippies. 8D -- yttrx If you are "fighting" vi, it should not try and give helpful hints, it should munge your cursor, screw up your terminal, rot13 your mailbox and call your girlfriend for a date. -- Pim van Riezen Yes, it's very hard to learn to press escape for filename completion rather than the oh-so-much-cleverer tab key in bash. Stallman has it all wrong as to why free software is better. It's because of the tab key. -- Alan J Rosenthal Please. Do not run automated untested processes in the middle of the night. Please, I beg of you. For the love of God. Please. -- Sean Ware 1. Kiss Hank's ass and he'll give you a million dollars when you leave town. 2. Use alcohol in moderation. 3. Kick the shit out of people who aren't like you. 4. Eat right. 5. Hank dictated this list himself. 6. The moon is made of green cheese. 7. Everything Hank says is right. 8. Wash your hands after going to the bathroom. 9. Don't drink. 10. Eat your wieners on buns, no condiments. 11. Kiss Hank's ass or he'll kick the shit out of you. The people with the questions smiled and the people with the answers lied They lied So no pizza for them! Drat these computers! They're so naughty and complex. I could pinch them! -- Marvin the Martian, vexed Marlow says "And, you know, anyone gets a little bit sexier when they're using Linux." Marlow says "Why, when I switched to Linux, I experienced a 22.5% increase in my own sexiness." Marlow says "Not that I wasn't terribly sexy before, mind." The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary. -- James D. Nicoll Nothin's gonna change my world, nothin's gonna change my world. THANK YOU FOR SPEAKING IN BIG LETTERS AS I'M TOO STUPID TO READ SMALL ONES. -- kanji moder I don't mind if you don't like my manners. I don't like them myself. They're pretty bad. I grieve over them on long winter evenings. -- Philip Marlowe, _The Big Sleep_ What horrifies me, these shootings happen and then the newscaster is saying, 'America has to look into its soul and ask "why is this happening?"' And as a European, you want to say, 'Because you've all got guns, you fucking morons.' -- Hugh Grant nothing i do is good enough for you nothing i do is good enough for you This is not a psychotic episode, it is a cleansing moment of clarity. -- so let's go before i change my mind leave the luggage of all your lies behind because i am better than everything that came before you were never very kind and you let me way down every time but oh, oh what can i say, i adore you when i look down, i just miss all the good stuff and when i look up, i just trip over things One of the more persistent aspects of human behavior is the amount of effort people will expend to fuck over their fellow humans. -- Dan Farmer circles and circles and circles again circles again well Circles are always good! -- Sean Ware ....i guess that's out of the picture ....i guess i'm way beyond the pale He's the stupidity powder in the powder keg of stupidity! -- Steph Ware 'O Tiger-lily!' said Alice, addressing herself to one that was waving gracefully about in the wind, 'I wish you could talk!' 'We can talk,' said the Tiger-lily, 'when there's anybody worth talking to.' just give up and admit you're an asshole you would be in some good company and i think you'd find that your friends would forgive you or maybe i am just speaking for me (catchmeonabetterday) I RULE! -- Kevin Spacey as Lester Burnham je me souviens de ca je me souviens je voudrais que vous vous souvenez; somebody get me out of here; i'm tearing at myself thisiswhatyouget thisiswhatyouget thisiswhatyougetwhenyoumesswithus Hang in there, folks. If life were fun, we wouldn't need liquor. -- Jay Perry In the farmhouse things will be all right. (Cluster flies, alas) i'll renounce jack kerouac, and all of that romantic crap i wish i could tell you the way that i feel but tonight is the night i fell asleep at the wheel the worst part was hitting the ground not the feeling so much as the sound can't help but wonder if all this is real All is silent in the halls of the dead. All is forgotten in the stone halls of the dead. Behold the stairways which stand in darkness; Behold the rooms of ruin. These are the halls of the dead, Where the spiders spin and the great circuits fall quiet, one by one. -- Stephen King, "The Waste Lands" fixmenowiwishyouwouldbringmebacktolife (thingsdonthavetobethisway) (catchmeonabetterday) you won't have to be my heaven. i won't have to be your friend. it goes away again-- it seems a shame to waste your time on me. it's all the same-- sit down, stand up sit down, stand up walk into the jaws of hell (sit down, stand up) walk into the jaws of hell (sit down, stand up) anytime (sit down) anytime (stand up) sit down, stand up sit down, stand up we can wipe you out anytime (sit down, stand up) we can wipe you out (sit down, stand up) anytime (sit down) anytime stand up (the rain drops the rain drops) sit down (the rain drops the rain drops) oh the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops the rain drops michigan seems like a dream to me now. it's funny the things that you find in the rain it's funny the things that you find He seems articulate enough. Too bad he lies so much. -- J.L. Ivler I hate George W. Bush. Update 2017-05-30: I no longer hate George W. Bush. It's not that his deeds stopped pissing me off. Remember day 1, reinstating the global gag rule? (...before things really got going.) And at least when Cheney shot his friend in the face it was the kind of thing we liberals could really be smug about. And there was Brownie, a heckuva guy. (...I still agree with Kanye.) I feel like I did George W. Bush wrong. It turns out he was not the absolute worst, after all. Sorry, George. (but I'm still glad you took up painting.) (canthelpbutwonderifallthisisreal) (thetrickistokeepbreathing) just having thoughts of marianne quickest girl in the frying pan (buildingtumblingdown) i'm not like them, but i can pretend. ... i think i'm dumb. think i'm just happy. think i'm just happy. think i'm just happy. think i'm just happy. i think i'm dumb. i think i'm dumb. i think i'm dumb. i think i'm dumb. There's a fine line holding my senses together, and I think it's about to break. when i am king you will be first against the wall! $$$>and your opinion which is of no consequence at all-- and the daffodils looked lovely today, and the daffodils looked lovely today. looked lovely today. somewhere someone must know the ending! and i ride along side, and i rode along side you then and i rode along side til you lost me there in the open road for the life of me i cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins Man, you are *way* out where the buses don't run. -- Matt Black tonneire dans ton aureille, tu cries mais personne ne semble entendre ... il y a quelqu'un dans ma tete, mais c'est pas moi and if your head explodes with dark forbodings too, i'll see you on the dark side of the moon Lord of the Rings LITE(tm) by J.R.R. Tolkien Some guys take a long vacation to throw a ring into a volcano. i tend the wheat fields that make your bread i bind the sweet veal, pluck the hens that make your bed mother nature and mother earth are two of three women who dictate what i'm worth well i am the farmer i work in the fields all day don't mean to alarm her but i know it was meant to be this way you cried a tear, i wiped it dry i put you up upon a pedestal so high if you should waver, if you should sway i'll catch you, spread my tiny wings, and fly away you signed your pictures with an o and x i bet you don't write love each time you sign your checks well i am the farmer i work in the fields all day don't mean to alarm her but i know it was meant to be this way all of this corn i grow, i grow it all for you i took your hatchet to the radio, i did it all for you well you could have written back and you could have said thank you but i guess you've got better things, i, i guess you've got better things, i guess you got better things, better things to do better things to do, yeah better things to do better things to do you say you love me is that the truth? although they've heard the songs my friends need living proof i know your address i rang the bell i'll bring you flowers and a twenty-two with shells i am the farmer i work in the fields all day never wanted to harm her but i know it was meant to be this way i know it was meant to be this way i know it was meant to be this way you and me will never be fine And he can see no reason, Cos there are no reasons. What reason do you need to be shown? Tell me why. I don't like Mondays. Tell me why. I don't like Mondays. Tell me why. I don't like Mondays. I want to shoot the whole day down. well, see what you wanna see: you should see it all. well, take what you want from me: you deserve it all. nine times out of ten, our heart just gets dissolved. well, i want a better place, or just a better way to fall. but one time out of ten, everything is perfect for us all. well, i want a better place, or just a better way to fall. . . . evil home stereo, what good songs do you know? evil me, oh yeah i know, what good curves can you throw? well all that icing and all that cake, i can't make it to your wedding, but i'm sure i'll be at your wake. you were talk, talk, talk, talkin' in circles that day; when you get to the point make sure that i'm still awake, okay? (just cos you feel it doesnt mean its there) -rw-r--r-- 1 viv viv 27392 Jun 20 2013 .plan :wq! .plan: 2059 lines, 27065 characters. -rw-r--r-- 1 viv viv 28165 May 30 22:01 .plan :wq! .plan: 2099 lines, 28165 characters.